change

It has been just over three months since I last posted on my blog.

Since then, there has been a many significant changes in my life – some of them external, big life changes, some of them internal, mental and emotional shifts, which have kept me very busy.

A valid excuse for not posting my writing? Maybe…

The biggest, most evident change, is that I have accepted a new position in a new city about 5 hours away from where I currently am. The main reason for the change is to be closer to family, whom I’ve been without in close proximity for six years now. During my five years of college, I was eight hours away. During my first year of teaching, anywhere between three and five hours away.

In my new position, I will be a fifth grade English Teacher at a brand new Intermediate School within the district.

With this move, I have also signed the lease on my first very own apartment. I am both excited and nervous for this. I have never EVER lived alone. I do things alone. I have my own hobbies. But, I have never existed in a space completely by myself.

So with both of those things, as many of you know, the past couple months have been filled with applications, paperwork, interviews, meetings, traveling, etc. Moving can be a big deal. This is probably the main thing that has pulled me away from my regular posting, as I actually submitted my first application for jobs back on April 9th.

During this time, I have also done a pretty deep dive into my mental health healing journey, which has included a lot of research, appointments, reflection, writing, reading, and mostly attempting different routines and deciding which parts of them need to be prioritized in my everyday life for me to stay healthy. These are the journeys I like to keep private while they are happening so that I don’t confuse anything with the opinions of others. This journey is about what I need at this time, and I’m looking forward to being able to share that sometime soon so that others may benefit.

Being a teacher, I have truly, truly enjoyed the rest, relaxation, and freedom that this summer has brought. I have spent countless hours resting in the sun, visiting family, doing different activities, AND of course, watching Giannis and the Milwaukee Bucks compete in the NBA Playoffs. 🙂

I have also been working on a lot of different professional projects and goals that I’ve been keeping to myself as well. So, it’s not as much that I haven’t been writing or working on things, it’s just that I haven’t shared them.

Writing is weird this way because, as I have shared before, there is such a big difference in the writing you share with others and the writing you don’t. Recently, I’ve been doing the writing that you don’t share, and I have found it creatively difficult to come up with more than that, which is something I’ll touch on at the end of this post.

To wrap all of this up, as of this week, I have found myself feeling guilty about not working on my classroom, not reading books, not listening to podcasts, or really doing anything for next school year. I truly have just been focused on myself. When I start to feel this way, I have to remind myself what last year was like. I have to think about how worn out and tired I was, how everyone was. We were all angry, frustrated, irritable, on our last nerve. I, and every other teacher, desperately need this break. This break looks different for everyone. For me, it has included everything I’ve shared above. For others, it means working, or doing exactly what I just mentioned I wasn’t doing. All I know is how important it will be that I show up for these students next year. This will be their first normal year (hopefully!!) in over two years. So, I’ve been choosing to give myself grace in reaching that rejuvenation in whatever way I need so that when September comes, I am ready to go.

In regards to what I said earlier about struggling creatively, I would love to hear from my followers about what types of things you’d like to read. I know this is my blog, so ultimately my choice as a writer, BUT I do love to provide my readers with something they really would like to read. It’s one of the main reasons I love writing so much. Feel free to leave a comment, or follow me on my Instagram – @lovealways_caitlin – and leave me a DM.

Be well.

love always, caitlin